The Art of Arguing

I recently read an interesting blog post by Barry Eisler, author of 8 espionage novels, which I have had the privilege of reading and enjoying them all. He is an avid blogger, focusing mainly on politics, and I highly recommend that everyone check it out: http://barryeisler.blogspot.com/

This particular post was titled "How to Argue" and Barry lays out nine substantive guidelines aimed at improving the effectiveness of one-on-one argument. I do not have the time or ability to elaborate, summarize, or interpret what Barry explained in his post, but I do wish to take one key point he made early and often, and spin-off from that.

Simple, but intriguing to me: in it's most basic intent, argument is a discussion involving different points of view. All too often, the term "argument" carries a negative connotation, when in reality, argument is extremely healthy and it is something that any social human should engage in daily. The ultimate goal of my blog, is to entice argument in it's purist form, the form of essentially conversing and sharing of opinion, which will naturally differ, inevitably creating argument. Let's be clear, argument does not have to be hostile, or motivated by an internal anger from the arguer.

Allow me to move on to something else I have been wanting to say about "arguing." As stated in a previous blog post, I am a listener, and therefore hear many untrue statements, which go un-refuted. I am often tempted to argue (in the form of civilized conversation I explained above), but I know my rebuttal will receive a retaliation in the form of offensive hatred. Consequently, I keep my mouth shut majority of the time and either pull out my phone, or find the nearest internet source and allow the facts to do the arguing.

This leads me to yet another point: what if the persistent arguer refuses to believe what I consider to be facts, which I have just presented him/her with? Who am I to further argue why these facts are true? I cannot prove that they are true; I thought I was proving the point and settling the argument by presenting these "facts."

What it all boils down to is that argument is an art. Some are good at it, and some are not. I do not consider myself good at all. I read and study a lot, and have a tendency to believe the reliable sources that produced the literature. If someone says something to oppose what I read, and hence believe, my argument is to present the "facts" in the form in which I was convinced they are true.

I try my hardest to avoid controversy, and clashes of deep-rooted opinions. All that this leads to is immature spats supported by personal beliefs rather than factual information. Clearly, this is why I live by the "let the facts do the talking" rule. My question for this blog post is: how do you deal with a person who refuses to take a loss and move on to the next argument? I view argument as an educated conversation between factually supported opinions, while my opposition views argument as a game that they must win, whether right or wrong . . .

I truly want opinions on this, because if you can master the art of arguing, which I am far from accomplishing, you are one step closer to being "All Grown Up."

Why I'm Here

So, I explained in my previous post why I titled this Blog what I did, now I am going to explain why I created it in the first place.

I am currently studying in the College of Business at Southeastern Louisiana University. I am pursuing two degrees: Management and Accounting. My first few semesters in college were a waste (as hinted at in the first post). I would also consider the majority of my high school a waste as well. No doubt, I was a good student on paper, but I cruised through the four years with minimal effort. Some people may wish they could have done the same, but I look back and see a wasted wad of potential. All of the material was retained until exam time, then thrown away like a dirty pair of underwear. It wasn't until recently that I realized the true value of not only formal school education, but the world of knowledge outside the classroom. The articles, forums, and especially blogs available on the internet offer so much information it can often be overwhelming. This plethora of enlightenment was my main motivation for creating a blog.

I am here to present ideas and topics that I encounter through my studies which I find intriguing, and hope the readers will as well. I wish to invoke educated conversation, primarily by simply asking for opinions. I hope to touch on topics such as politics, business, economics, news, and probably more often than I should - mainstream gossip and sports.

My main intention for this blog is for me to learn more from other people. I am a quiet person, a listener. Therefore, I do not consider someone "smart" by what they say they know, rather by the desire to learn more. The ability to listen will not only make me a better husband/father/son/friend/person, it is what I consider a critical part of being "All Grown Up."

This is Me.

I titled this Blog "All Grown Up" for a specific reason even though those who know my current life status would get a good chuckle out of that. Why give your Blog the title of "All Grown Up" when you are a 22 year old (23 in two days) male living at home, still riding with mommy everyday. Yea, that's right, I'm a senior in college and my mom drops me off and picks me up from school everyday.

The term "all grown up" became my mantra at the beginning of 2008. I  had just finished my third semester in college pulling off a solid 0.25 GPA (no that is not a typo). A couple days later I did a couple thousand dollars worth of damage to my mom's brand new $38,000 truck by spinning the tires, losing control, and crashing into two parked cars. Some people may think this is funny. Some may actually be laughing because this is mild mannered behavior, and they have "real" stories of what a young'n does while getting into trouble. Well this was not the actions of Johnny Nugent, the honors graduate with a 3.7 GPA and 27 ACT score that got a full paid ride through college (which was obviously pissed away by a 0.25 GPA).

So needless to say, I found out what "rock bottom" was, and I had just hit it. Beginning in 2008, it wasn't just a new year's resolution for me, it was a new life. It was time to leave behind Little Johnny, and start acting like I was all grown up.

Since my turning point, I have completed five semesters with a GPA of 3.87. I stopped viewing my job as simply a paycheck, and started using it as yet another avenue for learning and growing. My mom and dad were no longer "parents, ugh." Instead they were friends that have valuable life experience and knowledge that they truly wish to share so they can ensure a better future for me. My girlfriend, Cortney, no longer was just another girl that I was dating. She was a woman that had her s#!t together long before I did, and I suddenly realized if I was going to make it in this world, I needed that model of discipline by my side at all times. She knew what she wanted before I even considered thinking about what I wanted. She had her self-realization before I did, and she's two years younger than me.  I stopped viewing the definition of "family" as required gatherings on Sundays and holidays. My family is my heart, and my best friends; they are the only ones that will truly be there for you no matter what (because you share the same last name, which will harm their reputation, of course).

All kidding aside, "all grown up" means realizing what you are doing in life, and having a reason for it. Yes, I am almost 23 years old, still living at home and still riding with mom to school, but it is all done for a reason. I am working for a better future, because I have a desire to be successful. And as far as I'm concerned, if you have the will and discipline to turn that desire into action, you may not be financially independent, but you are "all grown up."